the Birth

This should be interesting....so get a cup of coffee or tea...this could take a while! Not that I get long winded or take repeated rabbit trails. :) Oh....and there are words like cervix, placenta, bloody show...etc. in here, just in case anyone does not want all that information.

Let's start a few weeks ago....no, a few months ago...no, at the beginning.

I have had adrenal issues for years that complicated my life for various reasons. After spending a great deal of time, money and effort, my adrenals were basically "normal" again. I had been wanting to get pregnant for some time but wanted to wait for my body to be better and able to withstand another pregnancy...and I was hoping have an easier pregnancy. So the last adrenal test came back as being much better and even normal...I was very happy that I could now have another baby. We did not try to get pregnant...we never really have to try. It seems that we kinda talk about the possibility of some day having another child and BOOM, I am pregnant. As per our record, this is what happened! At the end of March/first of April I was for sure expecting baby #5.

Rabbit trail: We do not keep having kids trying to get a girl. We always wanted a large family and do not care what type of baby is born....we are very blessed and love ALL our boys! And if the baby is a boy or a girl is not WHY we have kids. Just to clarify :)

Josiah and I were very excited at the thought of having another baby around. It had been quite a while since Presley was a baby and we were ready for another. My due date was technically December 18-20, but for fun I said it was Christmas Eve. Sounded far more romantic, and I knew the baby would not come on it's "due date" anyway!

The pregnancy was extremely difficult from the beginning. I was very sick from about 4 weeks til pretty much the end of the 9 months. I did feel "better" at times but overall had zero energy, horrible blood sugar issues, and was nauseous everyday for the entire 9+ months. The adrenal problems came back full force and I know that made everything 10 times worse. Adrenals are stressed when you are pregnant, and so someone like me who already had stressed adrenals for years the pregnancy just sent them back over the edge. it was a very difficult time. I am not a depressed kind of person, but it was very easy to feel depressed and have a "why me" attitude. I could not take care of my family much less myself and I had to be waited on by others constantly....which is VERY hard for me to do. Humility was on the menu. I was overjoyed at the thought of another child, but the process getting there was insane.

Josiah and I had hired a midwife originally who we thought would be compatible with our wishes and allow us the birth we wanted...however, it became apparent that she was not the person for us, so after building a relationship with her for 5 months we decided to "let her go" and trek out to find another midwife. I mean, why should we compromise on anything? We are having our child and are hiring her to lifeguard...so we call the shots. There is no reason we should not be able to do 100% what we want to do. I wanted basically a purebirth. No one checking my cervix, no one bothering us, just Josiah and I laboring and giving birth. I wanted the midwife to listen to the baby to make sure things were fine, but that was about it.

Rabbit trail: I have had the same midwife (in Georgia) be at all 4 of my births. She is wonderful, knows me very well and has allows us to have the most wonderful births imaginable. So the thought of having to have another person be at the birth was VERY difficult for us.

So at 24 weeks we hired Ilise to be our midwife. We told her what we wanted and she was totally fine with it and even encouraged us. Finally I could calm down and quit stressing about a midwife! I could have another wonderful birth without the worry.

My best friend Noelle had her baby in September and I was able to go to the birth. She planned to be at my birth as well, so she got her plane ticket for the week during my "real" due date. I HAD to have the baby between Dec 16-23rd! What would I do without her there?????

I got my birthpool after much research.....there are some really cool birthpools out there now. Back in the day (10 and a half years ago) when Ethan was born there was NOTHING. I had him in a kiddie pool! It went great, but how cool is it that now there are so many choices?! I bought the Eco birthpool in a box from watebirth.org. When it got here Tarin and I set it up in my room and we were both so excited! We had to get in and test it out (no water)...we had a blast. Things were all coming together.....

The baby was in a weird position for months. MONTHS. At about 30 weeks I went to get an abdominal massage to try and loosen my ligaments so "it" would turn into a better position. It was posterior....completely. All you could feel on the front of my belly was small parts (legs, feet, arms) no back at all. Heart tones could be heard way over near my hip. Typically you feel the back/butt of the baby on one side and hear the heart near the front of the belly....so we knew the baby was in an odd place. I went to the chiro, got massages, did exercises....everything I knew of to get the baby the turn. Every now and again the baby would go into a good position, but not for long. For the most part. it was a persistent OP baby. This did worry me for several reasons.....first, I did not want to have back labor. I did that with other births and did NOT want to do that again. Second....WHY was the baby not turning? Was there something holding it there? A cord? The placenta? Thirdly.....even at the end of the pregnancy, the baby was VERY HIGH. I have never EVER felt a baby that high. I could feel the top of it's head above my pubic bone!!!! (normally you can only feel the back of the neck because the head is all in the pelvis). That also worried me. I could hear the cord down very low and wondered if the cord was holding the baby up. A cord around the neck is no big deal and did not scare me....but a cord that is in front of the baby's head could be a problem and I did think about that.

So at 40 weeks I got an ultrasound. Those of you who know me know that for me to get an US it has GOT to be important!!! All I wanted to know was that the placenta was in a good place (it was...perfect place up high) and that the cord was not in front of the baby (we could not tell). There was no checking the baby's sex...we did not even look there!

The baby was just really high. I could not feel the head internally at all and usually I can feel the head quite easily. My cervix was nice and ripe but there was nothing pushing behind it to get things going. Noelle was here and I really wanted to give birth with her as my doula!!! I did evening primrose oil....alllll the time (yuck)....but I did not do any herbs or anything. I do not "believe" in induction so I just waited until the Lord decided it was time.

It was time AFTER Noelle left. This made me quite sad, and I did have to totally give that up to the Lord.....but once I did He gave me a peace about it and I was once again ready to give birth. Noelle did SO MUCH for me while she was here....she made countless meals and froze them for after the birth....she cleaned, helped with kids, shopped....you name it, she did it. I am so grateful to her for coming out here for me!!!!!

I had mucous and bloody show for several days about a week before the birth. This was annoying since it made me think the birth was going to be sooner....but I have done that before with no baby for a while so I tried to ignore it.

Christmas Eve morning....4 a.m. I get up to potty and realize that my water was leaking. A high leak, no gush, just a trickle every now and again. So I go back to bed. I figured I will not sleep through anything :) The baby sounded fine....still up high, but what's new.

The day was spent shopping for last minute gifts. I went to bed to take a nap and woke around 3 p.m. having some contractions. They were not strong, just ALL in my back. I did not time them or anything....I figured I would know when they got more intense, right?

I sent the fam out to eat around 6ish so I could relax. I put all the right sheets on my bed....got my room ready....set out the birthing stuff....etc. The contractions were still sporadic but stronger...and still all in my back.

The family came home and we did our Christmas Eve tradition of opening one gift. We gave all the boys various super hero PJs....they were STOKED. I had to pretend things were fine with me so I did not ruin their time....but my contractions were hurting and my back was KILLING me. I ate the steak from Carrabbas....yummyy.....although later in labor the taste did not suit me well. Kids went to bed and Josiah and I went to our room. I labored there for the remainder of the night.

I did not want to see a clock so Josiah turned the clocks around. I knew that the back labor meant things were going to be different than "normal"...and I was right. I had short contractions followed by double peaking long ones. I had them one on top of another and then would go 10 minutes in between. I could feel them in my cervix but not very well....they were all in my back and that kinda drowned out the cervix pull. Josiah was amazing!!!! He rubbed my back ALL the time....he talked through contractions...he walked with me....layed behind me and did counter pressure...he was simply amazing. Not that he has not been at my other births, but this was different. He really stepped up and supported me completely. I never once felt that I needed something else or missed anything. He really was my rock.

I have to take a peak at my labor record for exact times since I did not look at a clock. It was about midnight when I wanted Josiah to call Ilise. I felt that I was going nowhere and my back was getting worse. She arrived at 12:30 a.m. She hung out with us for a while and made sure things were fine....the baby sounded great...still high....and they tried some stuff with me to get the baby to turn into a better position to relieve the back labor. No such luck. This kid was stubborn! I tried lunges, squats, the Rebeezo, duck walking, stairs.....the whole shebang. The baby was staying OP.

I got in the birthpool several times throughout the night. I would labor in there and then get out, walk around, etc. It was nice to have several things to try that would help the back ache.

At 4:30 a.m. I finally had Josiah get Ilise. I was feeling a strong urge to push but I felt like there was still cervix left. I had originally said that I did not want her to check me at all, but at that point I needed her to help me figure out what was going on. She checked and the news was NOT what I wanted to hear. I was about 6 cm.

Rabbit trail: Midwives believe strongly in the body and the wisdom of the body....meaning....what a mom feels like and what her body is telling her to do it more important than the "clinical" side of things. If a mom wants to push, she should push. If she is fully dilated and does not ant to push, she should not push.

One typically does not begin pushing at 6 cm. The body just is not ready at that point. However, my urge was so strong that I really could not help it. So instead of full on pushing I did a held back push...just enough to relieve the pressure but without a lot of strength behind it so the cervix would not swell.

This is quite painful. To NOT push is the hardest thing in all the world. It is like telling someone with diarrhea to NOT go to the potty.....like trying NOT to sneeze....it is virtually impossible.

So for about 1 and a half hours I tried to NOT push. I did push a little, but not a lot.

5:05 a.m. I am laboring on the potty. During a contraction my water broke. Nope, it BURST. Thankfully I was on the potty, so no mess was made! I thought this may help things, but it really did not. My cervix was still all around the baby's head. It did, however, finally bring the baby to a low point in my pelvis! I was for the first time in all the pregnancy able to feel the baby's head internally. I was very happy about that and SO thankful that there was not a cord issue. I had prayed and prayed for the Lord to protect the baby and give us wisdom about all that....and now, things were just fine. Clear fluid, low baby.

5:22 a.m. Back into the birthpool to labor. Still feeling overwhelming pressure. Still have cervix that needs to move.

5:55 a.m. I decide that I need to just full on push. If my body is feeling it, then I need to do it. I should have mentioned this to someone, but I was not cognitively able to do so. The contraction begins. I muster up the courage....and I give a gigantic push. The baby' head comes down on my perineum....the baby crowns. I am on my knees in the pool, holding the baby's head in my hands. I look at Josiah and tell him the baby is coming. He just sits there. I say again, "the baby is coming. Get Ilise." He calls for her. I am feeling the baby's head in the water and then I feel a little hand come out.....the arm is born up by the head. Ilise kneels down by the pool and says something to the effect of, "do you feel more pressure"...meaning, do I still need to push. I tell her, "The head is born". She is surprised, flips on her little flashlight and sees the baby as it is being born. I catch the baby and bring him to my chest.....it is OUT! FINALLY! No more back pain!!! The official time of birth is 5:56 a.m. I am in shock! I sit back and look at my child...."it" looks just like all the boys did....beautiful! I feel between the legs and am so pleased to discover that we have another son....I announce this to Josiah, mom and the midwife, elated. "5 sons!" I say.
We are all just soaking him in.....I kiss him over and over, drinking in his smell (newborn babies smell like HEAVEN). He smiled. 3 times! I have several witnesses to confirm this! It was so cool....and he had no gas or anything :) He also sucked his thumb like a pro. Obviously because he did this for 9 months in the womb...and as he was born. That little arm.....








The placenta is born and we get out of the birthpool. I layed on my bed and nursed my new son for the first time.....we cut the cord an hour or so later and Ilise ran me my herbal bath in the bathtub. OH NICE. It was so wonderful! Laz and I hopped into the tub and got to fully relax. He opened his eyes and was so alert looking around at the world.

After the bath I got my PJs on and got back into my bed for the baby exam. He is perfect, of course, but the midwives always want to be sure. He is dated at 41 weeks. His head is 14 1/2 inches. He is almost 22 inches long. When it is time to weigh him everyone had a guess.....all were around 8 lbs to 8 .5 lbs. I spoke up and said, "9 lbs 7 oz". They all stopped and looked at me like I was insane. (the chalked it up to birth crazies I guess). He is on the scale. The midwife says, "No way" so they do it again. She says, "9 lbs 10 oz!!!!!!" Everyone was shocked! He just did not look that big, however, I had been holding him for a few hours and realized he was a solid little guy.
Josiah dressed him for the first time and handed him to me.....aaaahhhhh.....my prize!!!!!! :)



I just nursed and we all talked as the midwives were cleaning up and we realized it was going to be "present time" with the kids very soon....and sure enough, in the room they walked. They were SO surprised to see me with our new baby in my arms!!! They climbed up on the bed with me and met their new little brother Laz. We took pictures and talked about the birth (they were supposed to be there in the room for the birth, but more on that in a second). The boys were so happy and they said that Laz was the BEST Christmas gift!
We told them that in an hour or so we would all go downstairs and open gifts, so they went to play in their rooms until then. Josiah and I decided to get a little sleep until then....we were exhausted. So we snuggled Laz in with us and took a nap.
The rest of the day is a blur......we opened gifts....the womenfolk cooked a big meal for that night.....the kids played.....I slept.....it was peaceful and relaxing.
That night Josiah and I watched "Music Man".........I love musicals and it is RARE that I actually get to see one except when I have a baby! Josiah will lay on the couch with me and the baby and watch musicals with me for days on end.....I love it! :) So far we have seen My Fair Lady, Music Man and Singing in The rain. Next is Anchors Aweigh! We also got Les Miserables to watch since I just finished the book about 2 weeks ago....I was SO disappointed that I quit watching and went to sleep. The movie, of course, leaves so much out, but what upset me is the incredible deviation from the real story. Anyway, that was annoying, but we followed it with Pirates 3....Josiahs choice :)

Ilise came back for a postpartum visit yesterday (I told her not to come the day after the birth...we were all doing so well) and everything was fine. She weighed Laz.... I said "he will not have lost any weight, my babies never do". She mentioned that he probably has lost at least a few ounces but that is fine....as she lifted him on the scale....."9 lbs 15 oz" Hello! He gained 5 oz in two days! I know I have supermilk. I should donate to 3rd world countries....really.

So my postpartum has been very nice and relaxing. I love this point in time....it goes so fast and then real life kicks back in and all this is nothing but a fleeting memory....so I am taking full advantage and enjoying every minute.

I am still processing the birth. Should I have listened to my body and pushed sooner? Is there anything else I should have done to turn the baby into an OA position to relieve the back labor? I could go on all day and probably will for quite a while. All births need to be processed and mom should be allowed to question anything and everything until she is at peace with it all. This can take a few hours or it can take years, depending on the experience. I personally love to relive my births over and over....usually through video and pictures. However, this time, we have none of that. I had planned to have Dawn come do pictures and Christy come do the video....but since I labored on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day I did not feel right about calling them away from their families. So we have video/pictures from after he was born that my mom took. No birth video, no birth pictures. This is sad to me, however, it is kinda nice to have this special memory of the whole experience that is purely mine. To me this was very much a purebirth....no one else really involved, no one else really there in the room at the birth (until the body flew out) except my husband and me. I liked it.
The boys were a little disappointed at not being in the room also. They have always been in there for their brothers births. But, they seem fine about it and have not been upset or anything. Kell did say he was looking forward to being there and wanted to be....but he is fine with how it happened. There was just no time to get them, and to be honest, I was working so much harder than my "normal" births that they might have been a distraction to me. Man, back labor is a whole 'nother animal...

That is the birth of Laz. Oh....I am getting questions about his name.....

Lazarus means "the Lord is my help" or "the Lord has helped me". I truly know this to be a fact with this pregnancy and birth. I could not have done it without the Lord being my strength. He helped me....He saw me through.

Jude means "thankful" and "praise"! We are so thankful for this tiny miracle and blessing from God. Praise His name! :)

In a nutshell.....this was the fastest birth time-wise that I have ever had. 15ish hours from contractions, 26ish from water leaking....although this was a very difficult birth because of the back labor and compound presentation. (oh....no stitches needed!) I am so thankful to Josiah for all his support....I could not have done it without him.....and to the Lord who knit together this child in me and sustained my body through the pregnancy and birth...and who planned this from the beginning of the world to build my trust in Him and to grow our family for His Kingdom.

All in all, I am feeling great! My bleeding has all but stopped....yes, 3 days after the birth! Ladies, you to could only bleed for a week or so if you do not get induced, have a drug free birth, nurse immediately at the birth, do not allow anyone to take the baby, sleep with your baby and nurse on demand!!!! (okay....small soapbox...) Oh....nursing.....I love LOVE it!!!!!!!! Another blessing the Lord gives us......