"My Wife and I Moved to Colorado..."

My wife and I decided to move to Colorado because we missed the snowy winters...thought it would be nice to keep a journal of my adventures to pass onto the kids...


December 8th - It started to snow. The first snow of the season, and my wife and I took our cocktails and sat by the window for hours just watching the huge snowflakes drift down from Heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses painting. It was so romantic, we felt like newlyweds again. I Love Snow!!


December 9th - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I ever had. I shoveled snow for the first time in years, and I felt like a boy again. I did our driveway and all the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I have to shovel again. What a perfect life!


December 12th - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment! Our neighbor, Bob, tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that we'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.


December 14th - Snow, lovely snow! We had over a foot last night. The temperature dropped to twenty below, and the cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way.


December 15th - Two feet of snow in the forecast. I sold my van and bought a 4 X 4 Blazer. I also bought snow tires for my wife's car and two extra shovels. We stocked the freezer. My wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think she's being silly, we aren't in Alaska after all!


December 16th - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my rear-end on the ice in our driveway while putting down salt. Hurt like heckfire. My wife laughed so hard, she cried. I think she was being very cruel.


December 17th - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for most of the day. We had to pile on the blankets just to stay warm. Guess I should have bought a wood stove, but I won't admit it to my wife. I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own livingroom!


December 20th - Electricity is back on, but we had another two feet of snow last night. More shoveling. %$#! snowplow came by twice. Called the Hardware Store to see about buying a snowblower and they said they were all out of them. I think they're lying! Bob says I have to shovel the snow or else the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying!


December 22nd - Bob was right about a white Christmas because we had a foot and a half of the white stuff today. It's so cold it probably won't melt until August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to pee. By the time I got undressed, peed, and then dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob, who has a snowplow on his truck, to do some shoveling but he said he was too busy. I think he's lying.


December 23rd - Only two inches of snow today, and it's warmed up to almost ten degrees. My wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What, is she nuts!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did, but I think she's lying.


December 24th - Snow packed so hard by the snowplow, I broke my shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack! If I ever catch that idiot that drives that snowplow, I'm gonna drag him through the snow by his ears. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then comes down the street and throws snow all over where I've just shoveled! Tonight my wife wanted me to sing Christmas Carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for that stinking snowplow.


December 25th - Merry Christmas!! They're forecasting another two feet of snow tonight! The idea of shoveling makes me sick! I HATE SNOW!! The snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. Wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an IDIOT!


December 26th - We're snowed in!! Why in the heck did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves!!


December 27th - Temperature dropped to twenty below. Pipes froze.


December 28th - It's snowing again!! The driveway and sidewalks need shoveling. Too stinking bad!!!


December 29th - More Snow!! Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I've ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?


December 30th - Roof caved in. Snowplow driver is suing me for a million dollars. My wife went home to her mother. More snow predicted.


December 31st - Set fire to what's left of the house. NO MORE SHOVELING!!


January 8th - I feel SOooo good! I just love those little white pills they're giving me. Why am I tied to this bed............


Okay, so it really is NOT that bad where we are living! Yes, we have had two large snows in one week....for the first time EVER. And the first snow was the 2nd biggest in ALL of Denver's history! We are still loving all the white :)