A Sad Subject

Death.
A subject that we all cringe to talk about and hate to hear. Yes, the promise of Heaven is enough to make the subject bearable, however, the pain of losing someone you love is so strong that it is hard to imagine anything good.

A gal who I knew growing up in the church youth group, has died. She is a year younger than me. I have not seen her in at least 5 years...we were not close by any means...just acquaintances. I feel connected to her through motherhood...she has a little girl Ethan's age. She and I spoke about our births and about our kids.

She was gorgeous....perfect in every way. We used to call her "Barbie!"

She is survived by her parents, two sisters, Grandparents and, of course, Madison, her daughter. What will Madison say when she starts back to school? How will she cope? Who will raise her?

Suicide. Another touchy, less than enjoyable subject.
What drives a person to such? How can one so loved loose all hope enough to do this? What could have been done to stop this tragedy? How will this be explained to her relatives...her daughter?
I am at a loss. Feeling numb...all day...I have continued....teaching, cleaning, cooking, washing. All the while wondering.....and feeling sadness, anger, helplessness....

There was nothing I could have done.
But was there?
There was nothing I could have said.
But was there?
There is nothing I can do to help.
But is there?

I want to hold her daughter. I want to show her daughter how much she is loved. I want her daughter to know that there is God that created her, loves her and knows every hair on her head.

How is it that only when someone dies do all of the long lost friends, family, acquaintances,etc come out of the woodwork and tell about how much they loved that person? Where are they when we are alive? It would be nice for people to know how much they are loved and appreciated BEFORE they are gone. How did they touch someone else's life? Tell them NOW.

I went to a funeral several years ago where there were over 1,000 people in attendance. One Thousand people. This man had touched so many lives...helped so many people...was so giving. But....did he know that before he died? Did those 1,000 people tell him on a consistent basis how much they loved him and appreciated him? I hope so. I hope he knew.

I hope she knew.

Did the hundreds at her funeral tell her that week before....the month before...the day before...the hour before....

She was special. She was loved. She was appreciated. She was cherished.
Did she know it?



Obviously, she did not.

I wish I could tell her now...............................