The Dentist

It is 7 a.m. Do you know where Tiffany is?
At her favorite place.
The dentists office.

As you may recall (I do....with perfect clarity) I had a dentist visit a few months back that was....shall we say....overflowing with drama.

Welcome to part two.

I must say that this visit was far less traumatizing than last time, which is good for my nerves. I only had one major adrenaline rush this time...and I managed to get through the entire appointment without biting the guy or panting like I was in labor.

I could not ever get an epidural. Even if I wanted to have a doctor awaken out of a deep sleep to fill the dura space of my spinal cord with a narcotic...I couldn't. Why? Because my body does not metabolize drugs well at all. I know this for a fact. It is now 4 hours AFTER my dental visit and my head it still numb. Yes, I said my head. The shot (singular, ONE, uno) numbed not only my bottom tooth that was filled, but the entire right side of my face, neck, ear, eyebrow...and all the way around my chin to the left side of my face. Yeah. One shot.
I could never be a druggie.

So the main drama that happened this time was the nurse/helper person. She was SO sweet. And brand spanking new. First day. So instead of one small x-ray for one tooth, I got 4 (FOUR) x-rays on several teeth and some un-named objects. So my radiation level right now is shocking....I am not going to hold my kids for a week. Ms. Sweet is also new at handling the dental instruments. When she began rinsing my mouth, she literally FOR REAL sprayed the jet stream of frigid water down my shirt. Ms. Sweet felt awful (especially since I flew off the chair in shock and a small scream escaped my lips) and Dr. Grout (yeah, his real name) let out a barely audible grunt and managed to need an instrument at the far table while she was cleaning me off.
Such a fun way to begin the day.
Later, when the filling procedure was complete, she sat my chair up (after pushing the wrong button and laying my head lower than my body) and water poured, again, from my upper half down to my lower half...soaking me again.
And did I mention that Ms. Sweet basically suctioned my tongue down that sucker thing at least 17 times? And I got hit in the face with a small piece of filling when the dentist was drilling out the old one...and she missed it with the sucker thing (cause my tongue was still in there).

And there you have it. Other than the exorbitant amount I was charged for such a traumatizing hour, it went fairly well. Maybe the remainder of my fillings (3) from when I was a teen will hold up and I will not need to go in there ever again. Is it to late to send a bill to my former dentist that apparently had no clue what he was doing??? His fillings have come out (in small chunks in my food....yummmm) and I have had to pay to replace them. Not fair.